


releasing years of senseless wanting

by intoxicatelou



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Cigarettes, College Student Peter Parker, Crushes, Dreams, Getting Together, Interventions? lol, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Peter is not here for Tony's Bullshit, Phone Calls, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Rain, Resurrection, Sexual Frustration, Shotgunning, Spring, Tony Stark Has A Heart, peter is 20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-13 02:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21487051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intoxicatelou/pseuds/intoxicatelou
Summary: “Our kiss stretched a wire from your hands to my skull, I fell inside, mouth first, head first. If I was made of paper I’d have burst into flame.” — Nick Flynnor the one in which Peter Parker spends his spring break with Tony Stark.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Comments: 25
Kudos: 263
Collections: Mind The Age Gap Flash Fic Prompt Meme





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [agegapflashficpromptmeme](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/agegapflashficpromptmeme) collection. 

> **Prompt:**  
_ Young Peter having a terrible day and older neighbor / family friend Tony offering Peter his first cigarette. Perhaps it’s muggy and rainy and they’re damp from the sweat, clothes clinging to their skin, blue grey dark skies, heavy emotions, clandestine kisses, unresolved feelings? Heavy UST, cigarette smoke, clammy skin, bated breath. (Can be as innocent as T, where they share their first kiss in the hot rainy summer night, or as dirty as fucking against the fogged up window of Tony’s leather cracked vintage car seats. _
> 
> ~ hello prompt person!!! really hope you like my take on this - I kind of did some things to make it not AU but PROMISE!! I will get you the aesthetic and feeling you want. Sorry for the delay I promise I will upload the second half which fulfills most of the prompt very very soon! I've just been super busy with being physically sick and a huge research paper but promise!!! it's in the works <3 
> 
> big love to fey for inspiring me with her INCREDIBLE moldboard just WOW!! everything I write is drawn from the feeling of what she created <3
> 
> title is a line from the song "Addictions" by Lucy Dacus which I looped constantly while writing this.

_ Freeze frame, tidal wave in the passenger side _

_ I'm still a nervous kid after all this time _

_ Can you imagine what it's like to be here with you now? _

— "Addictions”, Lucy Dacus 

“Incoming call, Tony Stark” KAREN’s voice chirps and Peter wakes up with a jolt, the mask still half-on. It’s mid-afternoon, he can tell by the way the sun filters in through his apartment’s blinds.

“Patch him through, KAREN.” Peter says, sitting up with a hiss, the events of last night’s patrol coming back to him. Some of the alien tech that Peter had defeated all those years ago was resurfacing, despite Toomes’s imprisonment. He’d fought the new mob off to the best of his ability but even his Iron-Spider suit wasn’t used to the new gadgets, especially the one with the blue-fire which had melted through his side as if he was covered in nothing but paper. He’d stumbled home, barely having the energy to peel off his suit before crashing straight into bed, his body in desperate need of sleep to heal the damage he 

“Hey kid,” Tony’s velvet voice cuts in, distracting Peter from whatever pain tinged his side. “Hope I’m not interrupting or anything.” 

“N-No- you’re fine, Mr. Stark.” Peter rasps back, his voice rough with just waking up. 

“Okay.” Tony pauses, “If you say so. And I know it’s like three pm but it seriously sounds like I just woke you up.” 

“Seriously, it’s okay I just - _ fuck. “ _Peter curses, as he tries to sit up to no avail to the searing pain in his side where the fire had dug in and peeled away at his side. His skin was still rapidly healing, his cells working to stitch themselves but the resulting skin was still pink and more sensitive than usual. 

“Peter,” Tony says, and Peter’s whole heart catches in his throat at his full name, so rare to be heard in this voice in particular. “Are you okay?”

_ No, _ Peter wants to scream but instead he swallows it. _ No I’m not okay, You’re alive, How am I supposed to be okay, _Peter wants to say, still getting used to the fact that Tony was no longer dead. That yes, he was real and alive and flesh, no complications even though his resurrection was completely accidental on Dr. Strange’s behalf, who’d muttered a rare spell on the right blue moon. This is all to say, it was a miracle to even be on the other side of the phone arguing with the man. 

Peter remembered where he was when he got the call a couple months ago. He’d left his Advanced Physics lab at Columbia just to hear Dr. Strange ramble about how _ Tony Stark is Alive, Thought You’d Want To Know. _It’d taken all of Peter’s heart to not swing to upstate immediately and see the evidence himself. 

“I’m fine.” Peter responds, despite how his teeth were gritting at the pain of his newly healing skin. “Don’t worry about it, Mr. Stark. Just had a more difficult patrol than usual and came back a bit late. You know how it is, sometimes the bad guys have blue fire guns and it takes a little extra second to wrap it up. But again, nothing I can’t h-handle.”

“Jesus Christ, Pete. This is exactly what your aunt was worried about.” Tony mutters, “You can’t push yourself like this. You’re in school. You should be focused on studying and partying and trying to sleep with the prettiest girl in your class.”

  
“Not really my type, Mr. Stark.” Peter can’t help but bite back, only to hear the surprised hitch of breath from the older man. It wasn’t the smoothest coming out that Peter would have planned but they rarely talked these days as it is. He’d always known that he was different, but it became harder to ignore after his failed relationship with MJ senior year and the dreams that had haunted him in the aftermath of Tony’s death. May had already suspected, and so it was hardly any news when Peter had started bringing guys home when he still lived at home freshman year. He was now a Junior at Columbia, and even took Spider-man to pride last summer. Tony of course, had no way of knowing any of this, resurrected only recently.

“That’s — I’m — good for you kid.” Tony stumbles, and Peter grins at being able to fluster the man, even after all that they’ve been through. 

“Thanks Mr. Stark. But really, I’m not a normal student at Columbia. I’m also Spider-Man and you know that power comes with great responsibility. Iron Man might’ve retired but I can’t, Mr. Stark. If you can do the things that I can do and don’t help out, when people get hurt — ” 

“It’s your fault. I know the spiel, Peter. You’re right, of course. I’m not asking you to give up Spider-Man.” Tony says, and Peter hears him swallow. “But you deserve a break, every once in a while. It’s healthy.” 

“If this is about my sleep schedule, I can catch up on the hours when I’m dead, Mr. Stark”, Peter chuckles before hearing Tony’s weak laugh in response, and okay, maybe that joke hasn’t aged well with Tony considering everything, even though it’s been years since Thanos and Titan. 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to —” Peter begins at the same time, Tony says “Been there done that kid, not worth it —” 

A moment of silence stretches out until Peter can’t help but let out a giggle and then they’re both laughing. For a second, it feels like before the world hit them straight on, as if Tony was still an active part of Peter’s life and not hiding away in some cabin in upstate New York, billionaire playboy turned recluse. The only times Peter got to see him were when he was visiting Morgan in the city because of a co-parenting arrangement made with Pepper after the divorce. Despite the two or three awkward brunch dates Tony took him on every time he was in Manhattan, it wasn’t the same as spending hours in the lab, working alongside him like they used to. It didn’t stop him from missing the older man, from still dreaming about his hands, the smell of motor oil and expensive cologne, the intense, warm stare whenever Peter would do something impressive. 

“Why are you calling, Mr. Stark?” Peter finally asks, unable to hold the question inside him anymore. 

“Because,” Tony sighs, “Your aunt is worried about you, kid. And I don’t blame her if this phone call is anything to go by. You’re going to burn yourself out with school and patrolling. I mean kid, I heard you’re trying to graduate early with a double major in biochemistry and physics. And you’ve got an on-campus job? It isn’t sustainable, Pete. Not if you don’t take time to relax.” 

“You’re kidding me right,” Peter says, incredulously, “I’m getting this talk from _ Tony Stark, _work-a-holic extraordinaire.” 

Tony huffs, “Look where it got me, kid. I literally died, lost my marriage, and now live alone in a cabin in the woods.” 

“Honestly, doesn’t sound like a bad life. Plus I’ve already done the dying part once, just like you. ” Peter quips, and Tony lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Kid,” Tony begins, “This is non-negotiable. Your aunt called me last week demanding I stage an intervention otherwise she would kill me a second time. So this is me, staging an intervention. What are you doing spring break?” 

“Um.” Peter stalled, “Actually the pizza place downtown was looking for someone to pick up extra shifts, so might do that. Get ahead on some reading? Patrolling, obviously —” 

“Nope. That’s what you _ were _going to be doing before Aunt May haggled me into intervening with your frankly worrisome lifestyle. Instead, Happy’s picking you up this Friday and you’re coming upstate for some mandatory vacation time. But don’t worry, even though there’s no reason to patrol in the middle of nowhere, I’ve got the lab and a garage full of vintage cars and there’s plenty of trails around for some friendly spiderling activities if you feel too cooped up. ”

“Okay.” Peter says, without blinking, heart beating faster at the prospect of two weeks and Tony Stark and the rest of the world put on hold just for them. It feels too good to be true, like a dream. 

“Oh — well. Wow I expected that to go way worse.” Tony’s voice is surprised but warm. 

“It’s you, Mr. Stark.” Peter can’t help but say, “You’ve always known what’s best for me. I trust you.” 

“You give me too much credit, kid. ” Tony chuckles self-deprecatingly, “But I’ll see you Friday then. Pack light, I’ve got everything covered.” 

“Alright.” Peter breathes, “See you soon, Mr. Stark.” 

“See you soon, kid.” Tony echoes back, before hanging up.

Peter flops back on his bed, kicking off the rest of his suit gingerly, and pulling off his mask and holding it to his bare chest. The laughter bubbles out of his throat, the hysteria setting in immediately. 

_Spring break with Tony Stark_, God if only his seventeen year old self could see him now. 


	2. one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony’s started smoking cigarettes again, and it isn’t as bad as it used to be but it’s pretty bad. As with most things recently, he blames Peter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! wow so sorry for the delay i had a major 40+ page research paper due on Friday and had to move out and therefore fan fiction was put on major hold but here I am again!! and here it is!!! another chapter in this idea prompted by the flash fest ~ this concept is getting away from me and so we will have ONE more chapter to fulfill the prompt!! 
> 
> thank you again for all the lovely comments <3 they really kept me positive when I was so stressed I'm pretty sure I grew new bones. Anyway, comments and kudos are always welcome! I wrote most of this in one-sitting on my flight back home and it's completely unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

_ Can't live without your love inside me now _

_ I'll find a way to slip into your skin somehow _

— “Crush”, Cigarettes After Sex

  
  


After the divorce, and the resurrection, it didn’t make sense for Tony to retake the limelight. 

Hell, he’d had the limelight for years even when he was dead, but being brought back had made the sensory overload even worse. It didn’t help that despite how much the tabloids and murals honored Tony, the world had continued on without him and it was nothing short of terrible to watch how it struggled to make room for him now that he was back. Pepper was almost-engaged with some guy named Mark on the board of the company, Rhodey was running point on a non-profit for veterans with Sam and Bucky, and Morgan was starting fourth grade. Even Peter had stretched out, while still running around in the supersuit Tony made him all those years ago. He was one of the brightest students that the Biochemistry and Physics departments at Columbia had ever seen, Tony knows, he’d checked, and sure enough Peter Parker was an absolute joy to have in class and on-campus. MJ was at Barnard, a little light googling had revealed that much, as well as subtly checking Peter’s instagram account which Tony somehow still followed — nobody had thought to shut down his accounts when he’d died, his social media turning into a memorial for strangers of the world to post about how Tony had saved them all. 

He rarely used any of his accounts anymore, even though the world knew he was back. It didn’t feel as if he was the same Tony Stark smiling in those selfies anyway. If he did log on, it was just to check up on his  protégé , not that Peter needed him to. Peter didn’t look like he was simply getting-by, no, Peter was  _ thriving  _ even in the after-math of his identity reveal and all that Quentin Beck had hurled at him in the months immediately after Tony had died. Spider-man had never been more popular, thanks to Stark Industries PR and legal teams, who had worked tirelessly to clear up Peter’s name and revealed the truth behind Mysterio. The public had hardly wavered, and if anything, Columbia University had been even more eager to give Peter the scholarships and accommodations he needed in order to succeed. Tony had spent an afternoon reading article after article about how much everyone loved Spider-man, feeling pride bloom warm in his chest. 

Of course, the downside was that it was clear that Peter didn’t need Tony anymore. It wasn’t the same, and despite the puppy-dog eyes Peter gave him every time Tony said that sure he’d think about inviting Peter up to the workshop at the cabin, he knew the kid had moved on if the tabloids and snapchat was anything to go by. 

So when May called him, demanding to know why her nephew was averaging about three to four hours of sleep trying to take down another mob run on alien tech that to Tony’ s knowledge had dissolved years ago, he didn’t know what to say. “I don’t — He isn’t — You know Fury’s really in charge.” Tony had stuttered in between May’s vehement yells. 

“But he looks up to  _ you.  _ So fix it. I can’t read another news article about Spiderman’s near death experiences on the Daily Bugle! He’s still in school, Tony. “ May sighed, “Besides Happy wants to go on this cruise for spring break and I won’t see Peter for two weeks. Can you blame me for being worried?”

“The kid’s got his own plans, I bet. I wouldn’t sweat too much about it —” 

“Plans that don’t include patrolling? I doubt it.” May cut in, taking another deep breath. “Tony, please. He listens to you. I just need him to take a break before he burns out. I’d stage an intervention myself but Happy said you’d know how to talk to him.” 

“I don’t know about that, May. I was literally dead until a couple months ago — a lot’s changed — Peter’s a great kid —”

“Who still considers you his hero. Dead or alive, Tony you have to know how much Peter cares about you. It’ll really mean something if you talk to him.” May said, “Maybe he could come to the cabin for spring-break? I’d just feel a lot better if someone could keep an eye on him.” 

Tony sighed, unable to deny the genuine worry in May’s voice. “Consider it done. I’ll take care of it.” 

Long after the phone call and after Tony had poured himself a glass or two of scotch, sitting on his front porch it began to sink in that Tony would be spending two whole weeks with the very person he’d done his best to not think about ever since the resurrection. The dreams were bad enough -- like the recurring one about the last time he’d held Peter on the battlefield, except this time he hadn’t died, no time had been lost. And in the dream, it’s Peter’s eighteenth birthday party, a couple of months after the end of Thanos, after the finalized divorce. The guests had long left, and it was just Peter leaning against the counter in Tony’s kitchen, a little tipsy because of the bartender Tony had hired in good faith. “Thank you, Mr. Stark” Dream-Peter says, smiling with his eyes, “Almost everything about today was perfect.” 

“Almost everything?” Tony asks, as if he doesn’t notice the way Dream-Peter licks his lips, the top buttons of the collared shirt Tony bought him unbuttoned recklessly. “What’d I miss, kid?” 

“Just this.” Peter whispers, before leaning over the counter to pull Tony into a kiss and in the dream, Tony kisses back every time, his fingers entangling themselves in Peter’s curls. In the dream, Tony can lick the birthday cake off Peter’s tongue, can swallow the surprised whine of pleasure when Tony nips at his bottom lip, can watch the kid’s eyes dilate up close and personal. 

Tony always wakes up, hard and panting, hearing Peter’s wrecked voice gasping, “ _ Mr. Stark, _ please.”

It’s wrong. It’s  _ so  _ so wrong. It’s not like Peter’s even interested in men, always gushing about MJ or Liz or some other intimidatingly pretty teenage girl. But that hardly stops his subconscious from conjuring up salacious images of his you ng protégé . Tony knows, but after the fourth time he wakes up hard at the thought of Peter’s mouth, he can’t stop himself from shoving a hand down his boxers to take care of the problem. 

It doesn’t matter that Tony’s died to save the world and then-some, this was damnation in its own right. It was terrifying how much of Tony’s time was spent thinking about him, how many orgasms Tony had wrung out with his left hand just at the thought of Peter’s voice calling his name. Tony didn’t want to call it a crush because he isn’t seventeen anymore, but the amount of time Tony spent scrolling through Peter’s instagram… he might as well be. An impossible and unrequited crush. 

And somehow, he’d talked himself into thinking it would be okay to let the exact object of his unrestrained affection live with him for not one, but  _ two  _ whole weeks just because said object of affection’s aunt had sounded quite distressed over the phone. 

Tony sighs, finishing the last of the scotch in glass, staring out at the lake. 

“It’ll be fine.” Tony repeats out loud to no-one in particular, “It’s just Spring Break. The kid’ll get a chance to relax, and maybe I will too. He probably has a girlfriend anyway. ” 

_ It’ll be fine.  _ Tony repeats again in his head,  _ It’s just Peter.  _

+

Tony had miscalculated, severely, he thinks as he stares at the taught expanse of Peter’s back in front of him just how relaxing Spring Break would be.  _ Relaxing _ is hardly the word that comes to mind as he watches Peter peel off his t-shirt mere moments after arriving at the cabin, eyes wide at the glittering blue of the lake. 

“What do you think, Mr. Stark — do I look relaxed enough? ” Peter asks cheekily, pulling out his phone to take a selfie standing up in the shallow part of the water and turning around so Tony could get a full view of those no-longer-a-teenager abs glistening in the afternoon sun. 

_ Breathtakingly so,  _ Tony wants to say, and he shivers at how easily the words come to mind. He shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn’t, and yet here he is, dumbfounded as Peter snaps the photo to probably post to his instagram and runs a hand through his wet curls, sighing as he sinks back into the water. There’s no logical reason why Tony’s mouth runs dry at staring at the where the water touches Peter’s hips, only that he might’ve forgotten what it’s like to be the full force of Peter Parker’s attention all over again. 

Or maybe it’s knowing that now Tony gets to look knowing that Peter  _ likes  _ being seen this way by men. And that Tony just so happens to be a man. Who is standing there. Looking at Peter in all his shirtless and wet glory. 

Tony almost pinches himself to make sure he isn’t dreaming. 

“Really glad you’re jumping right into the relaxing, kid. I should tell your aunt we’re all good to go. Dinner’s in an hour.” Tony says instead, before turning swiftly on his heel into the kitchen to pour himself a drink before he does or says anything any more incriminating. 

It’s barely been twenty minutes. Tony’s not sure if he can survive two weeks. 

+

Tony’s started smoking cigarettes again, and it isn’t as bad as it used to be but it’s pretty bad. 

As with most things recently, he blames Peter. 

It’s not like he can drink his way through spring break, and it isn’t because Tony doesn’t have the means to do so, but rather the first night he tried to, it had failed miserably. Peter had barely said a word after Tony’s fifth glass of scotch, his mouth drawn into a hard line before excusing himself from dinner and calling it an early night. 

Tony had poured a bottle of Bowmore Mizunara down the drain just for the principle of it the very next morning at breakfast to Peter’s surprised, but encouraging smile. Tony couldn’t help but grinning back, and it was worth losing every drop of a thousand dollar single malt. 

What Tony hadn’t understood was how difficult it would be to be in Peter’s orbit with nothing to dull his pull. Everything was crystal clear now — the uncanny ability Peter had to make Tony laugh, the sugar-warm look he would give Tony whenever he talked about  _ anything _ , the accidental brushes in the kitchen when Peter insisted on helping Tony cook, and god, all the smiles. It’d gotten so bad that after the third time they cooked dinner together, Tony’s mind is obsessed with figuring out Peter’s cologne. 

When Peter leaves his Columbia hoodie on the couch the next night, Tony’s not beyond tugging it on before his higher brain function kicks in. But for a brief minute, Tony’s in heaven which is something in between a pinegrove and clean laundry and what Tony poetically imagines the color dark green to smell like. 

It was overwhelming how much of his heart and mind the kid had taken up over the past few months and Tony had yet to figure out the word to describe having to all of it in front of him, so sharply in focus, but also so attainable because somehow the kid is 20 and already thinking about graduate school and can still manage to talk circles around Tony Fucking Stark. 

So yeah, maybe Tony starts smoking cigarettes again to avoid doing something stupid like kiss Peter in the middle of breakfast or in the workshop or in the garage last Friday when their hands had brushed deep in the engine of a 1967 Shelby. 

Peter had a smear of grease on his forehead, right next to a loose curl, and he was looking at Tony with that eager stare, asking “Am I doing this right, Mr. Stark?” and no matter how many times Tony had insisted that Peter call him  _ Tony,  _ some things just stick and it had taken every ounce of Tony’s willpower to remember why he couldn’t just lean over and kiss the  _ yes of course you are  _ into Peter’s lips. 

Tony had added a pack of Marlboro 100s to the grocery delivery list for the very next day. 

And for the last two days, it’d been routine. He was limiting himself to three or four a day, a few pre-breakfast and a few post-dinner, but so far it had worked well. The nicotine left a burn inside him which he could fixate on instead of Peter, and if Peter’s heightened senses picked up how Tony’s cologne had a slightly bitter undertone he didn’t mention it. All the better, Tony thought, it’s not as if he wants a repeat of the alcohol incidence especially since everyone knows smoking kills. 

Clearly, Tony’s luck is short-lived. 

Tony’s lighting up his second cigarette on the steps of his back porch when Peter finds him. The spring showers are in season, the ground full of that wet rain smell and there’s Peter, standing there as the sun just begins to peek over the horizon, wearing his pajamas and still rumpled with sleep. He looks at Tony in shock, mouth gaping slightly as his eyes flicker between Tony’s cigarette frozen in his hand and Tony himself. 

“Look, I can explain —” is what Tony says the same time Peter asks, strangely confident, “Can I have one?” 


	3. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The truth?” Tony asks, eyes still squinting at the rising sun, but mostly refusing to look at Peter, sprawled next to him, still smoking that damn cigarette. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are!! with the last bit!! sorry for taking so long to update but the holiday season doesn't leave much room to write unless its like at 3 am after everyone is asleep lol anyway!!! this turned out way softer than I expected but uh I guess that's just where my heart is at right now 
> 
> unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine:) as always comments and kudos are welcome!

_ I could follow close behind _

_ And slowly disappear _

_ But I can never leave him _

_ I can never leave him _

— “Black Diamonds”, Big Thief

“Kid,  _ what? _ ” Tony’s the first to speak, ashing his current cigarette. 

Peter just shrugs, before sitting down next to Tony on the porch step. “Healing factor remember? I’d have to smoke like three packs a day in order for it to do any real damage.” He picks up Tony’s half empty pack and pulls a cigarette out. 

“You don’t really know that.” Tony tries, as Peter reaches for the lighter. 

“Trust me, Mr. Stark. I do.” Peter says, before lighting his cigarette with a clear practiced ease. “I smoked a lot my freshman year. I know it’s a clear abuse of my powers but it helped dull the ache.” Peter paused, “I’m not proud of it but I’m not proud of a lot of the things I did when you were gone.” 

Tony’s jaw tightens. “Oh. Right. Well, I sincerely apologize for being the root of your bad habits. ” 

Peter snorts, before blowing out a clean ring of smoke and Tony reaches for the pack to give his hands something to do. “You're not the root of  _ all  _ my bad habits, Mr. Stark. Sure, when you died, it was almost as bad as losing Uncle Ben, but I chose to break-up with MJ and that came with its own set of unhealthy coping mechanisms.”

“Break-ups will do that to you, kid.” Tony mutters, staring out at the glittering lake. “I thought you both really had something.”

Peter smiles ruefully. “We did, I mean. I think we still do, she’s one of my best friends. But I just realized that the entire time we were dating, I was just trying to distract myself from the truth.” Peter turned to lean against the bannister, so he wasn’t staring as much into the light as he was looking at Tony’s profile.

“The truth?” Tony asks, eyes still squinting at the rising sun, but mostly refusing to look at Peter, sprawled next to him, still smoking that damn cigarette. 

“You know,” Peter starts, flicking ash off the end of his cigarette, “That I like men.”

“Right.” Tony swallows, his throat suddenly dry. “You mentioned this, briefly on the phone.”

“I couldn’t have figured it out without you, Mr. Stark.” Tony’s sure he has to be imagining the heat of Peter’s stare, because the kid didn’t just admit — this wasn’t — 

“I wasn’t even there, kid.” Tony tries but he could smell Peter’s forest-y scent mixing with the nicotine, and wanted nothing more than to lean into it. 

“You were always there, Mr. Stark. You still are. If there’s anything I learned when you were gone it’s that I don’t know how to forget you” Peter says, his voice a little raw, before softly adding “I don’t  _ want _ to to forget you.”

“Peter —“ Tony chokes out, but not before Peter’s inhaling a breath of smoke and leaning into Tony’s space. 

“C’mere” Peter murmurs, softly and Tony goes without thinking because his higher brain function has gone offline at the thought of Peter’s pink, pink lips. 

Peter’s hand comes up to hold his face, and Tony can’t avoid the intensity of those warm brown eyes, nor how they flutter close as Peter slots their mouths together, exhaling the puff of smoke. 

Tony breathes in the grey cloud greedily, lost in the haze of the moment and chases Peter’s slightly chapped lips as he pulls away gently.

“Kid.” Tony sounds wrecked and they haven’t even kissed yet. The sun was barely an orange peel over the horizon.

“Smoking is worse for you than drinking, Mr. Stark. I just got you back and I don’t plan on letting go, not to aliens or lung cancer.” Peter whispers, leaning closer to Tony with a hand on his thigh. 

“Got it. No Smoking. Or Excessive Drinking.” Tony manages to say, the pack of cigarettes long forgotten as Peter’s face stretches into a wide smile. “This might be the most effective intervention I’ve ever received.”

“That wasn’t even the good part.” Peter grins before kissing the smile off Tony’s face.

+

It’s better than Tony could have dreamed. Peter’s mouth is soft and pliant and tastes entirely of toothpaste and nicotine. Tony nips at his bottom lip, overwhelmed but how good it all feels — like a drug or a drink but so much better because it’s  _ Peter _ . 

“You know now that we’re here,” Tony says, in between heated kisses, “You might as well call me Tony.” 

“Ok-Okay -  _ Mr. Stark _ ” Peter groans as Tony sucks a sharp spot underneath Peter’s jaw, before correcting himself, “Sorry,  _ Tony” _

But of course, Tony’s dick twitches in response to both monikers because it’s  _ Peter  _ and Tony is not immune to anything. “You know what, I take that back. Call me whatever the hell you want, kid.” 

+

They trade kisses for a while, making out as the sun climbs a considerable amount in the sky and Tony finally has to admit that he was a) hungry for breakfast and b) sore from sitting on solid wood for a decent hour or so. Peter echoes his sentiments. 

“I’ll make pancakes, you can take the first shower.” Peter says, pressing a series of soft kisses to Tony’s mouth as they walk inside the cabin, the door swinging closed behind them. 

“You’re perfect, you know that?” Tony murmurs, pulling Peter in by the waist for one more kiss. His hands wander, unable to refuse the curve of Peter’s ass as he lightly squeezes, and deepens the kiss. 

“ _ Tony _ ,” Peter admonishes, breaking the kiss with a lovely blush. “Pancakes won’t make themselves.”

“But maybe they should. Maybe I should build a Pancake robot. Then you could just join me in the shower and we could have morning sex and eat pancakes after.” Peter laughs and let’s Tony kiss him again. 

“You make a fair point but we can still have morning sex  _ after _ breakfast.” Peter says, before gently pushing Tony towards the stairs. “Go shower. You smell like cigarettes.”

“But it’s kind of hot, right? Cigarettes are sexy.” Tony tries and Peter rolls his eyes. “Kidding! Kidding, that’s something a smoker would say and as you know, I’m reformed.”

“God, you’re insufferable.” Peter grins, no real heat to the words. If anything, his eyes are soft, full of warmth and Tony feels his heart skip in response. 

He knows they should probably talk about it, and knowing Peter, they probably will, and really, all of it should make Tony’s insides twist but he just feels like he’s floating, rubbing circles into where he’s still holding Peter’s palm. 

“I just have to know... when’d you figure it out?” Tony asks, running a hand through Peter’s curls, still amazed at how soft his hair is. 

“The cigarettes or the fact that you’ve been holding yourself back from me?” Peter leans into Tony’s touch. “Both were obvious because senses dialed to eleven remember? I could practically smell the cigarettes on you the second you lit your first one.” Peter’s arms wrap around Tony’s neck, and Tony’s palms fall to settle on his hips. “Also, I could hear your heart speed up everytime I touch you Mr. Stark. Not to mention, I saw you wear my hoodie when you thought I was asleep.” 

“Sue me, kid. You smell really good.” And as if to prove his point, Tony presses an open mouthed kiss to Peter’s neck, inhaling deep. 

“You can thank yourself for that.” Peter murmurs. 

“What?” Tony asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Peter blushes again, “I still use the cologne you bought me for my seventeenth birthday, you know. Before Thanos and everything.” 

“Oh.” Tony suddenly feels a wave of tears threatening to spill. “Right. You know, I really am sorry for all that.” 

“Hey, don’t do that. You saved the world, Mr. Stark. You saved  _ me. _ ” Peter nudges his nose against his. “If anything, I’m sorry for not being able to save you in the end. But we’re here now.” 

“We’re here now.” Tony echoes back, and closes the distance between them with another kiss. 

“No more dying,” Peter says, already flushed as Tony pulls him up the staircase, because clearly, pancakes can wait. 

“No more dying,” Tony repeats, “Fri, Initiate Back on the Wagon Protocols.” 

“Got it, boss.” Friday’s voice says overhead, and Tony presses Peter against the bathroom door, kissing him hard. But Tony doubts he’ll even need his AI to step in, now that he’s got Peter in his arms because drinking, smoking, all of Tony’s self destructive behaviors don’t even come close to the thrill Tony gets as he falls to his knees with a slight crack. 

“ _ Mr. Stark _ ” Peter groans, as Tony presses his face to the clear outline of Peter’s cock through his thin pajama pants. 

_ Yeah _ , Tony thinks to himself,  _ I’m going to be just fine.  _

Addicting doesn’t even begin to cover what Peter Parker is to him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and all your comments so far <3 they really made it easier to write and finish this story! let me know what you thought about the last chapter in the comments below!!

**Author's Note:**

> as always, comments and kudos are always welcome!! <3 honestly could use all the motivation lol life kind of is *rough* right now but we're getting through!!!


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